Love Will be the Death - the Death of You

What are dreams if we don't have someone there for us along the way?
I am so torn between the things and people i love it's impossible to know which path in life to take. Last week i wanted to start moving away from the reminders of the past to make it easier when i go - but then things happen that make me unable to do so. Last weekend i made my mind up to try and keep away from the quantocks as much as i could. Gran said she didn't mind starting hunting with the DSSH or even go back to foxhunting so that helped in the hunting sense. I told myself i would no longer go for walks on the hills. It all seemed so easy and so simple to do. The quantocks hold so many memories it's unbeleivable. Every path at some stage i've been down - either with Toy, either with Star, even with Chris - that it's just like stabbing you in the heart and bringing you down to your knees.
I felt i could do it, felt i could leave Toy to be free but things never go the way you want do they?
But from now on i'm just going to concentrate on Paddy and making a go of things, like helping Sharon as much as poss - anything to gain as much experiance as possible to help me for when i get to Ireland. From now on Paddy, Ashdown, Maverick, Riely and Murphy come first. Now the evenings are dark i'm going to get a job to earn as much as i can so Paddy gets nothing but the best and i need to start saving anyway. to be honest i don't care if i miss all the Young Farmer's dico's, it's only going to hurt me if i go anyway. ..
I rode Maverick yesterday and led Ashdown which was cool. Maverick is a darling and really comfy to ride but Ashdown was a bit of a bugger to lead!!!He's still my babe though!!! lol!!!
I'm so glad i've got Scarlett for a best mate. I dread to think where i would be right now if it wasn't for her, although she's probably fed up with all my rambling and crazy thoughts and yes, ok, the blonde moments as well!!!!
I heard (i hate writin that word!!) a great line in a song the other day; "you don't need me, but you want me to go on wanting you" It seems quite apt and true at the mo!!
Then i read this in Polo and i cried my eyes out; "nudged asleep perhaps by the velvet muzzle of Mattie's ghost" I guess some nights i still wish that i could be nudged asleep by the velvet muzzle of Toy's spirit, but when i dream she's there so im doing ok now, i think, on that front anyway...

"Give all to love,

Obey thy heart,

Tis a brave master,

Let it have scope, follow it utterly..."

At the moment anyway i've kind of forgotten about Jas which is really good (i spose) and same goes for Chris (i think). But then Chris text me today totally on his own accord, so does he still care? I wish i knew...Same goes for both of them really...I think...

"But i have promises to keep,

And miles to go before i sleep..."

That lil quote seems to sum my life up. I have so many promises and so many miles to go before i do close my eyes to sleep forever and only then can my final dream come true. But not until i've done what i want to do and acheived my dreams and goals first. Coz that's what Toy wants...

I'm texting Henry again too. I felt really bad and didn't see why i couldn't be friends with him anymore - i've had enough of people telling me what to do and who i can and not be friends with.

I heard (there's that bloody word again!!!) a great saying the other day "I haven't got a foxes chance in a hunt kennel" it made me chuckle for ages!!!

Robbie's new album is great!! best one yet!! Don't worry i've got a copy for you Scarlett!! This is my fav song on it;

"Spread Your Wings"

I used to live 'round here

I was the boy with the flash clothes

She was the girl with the acid stare

I saw her at the place

You knows she knows you know

How she shakes

When she jacks her body

To the sounds of Oran Juice Jones

And Jocelyn Brown

Oh spread your wings

Before they fall apart

Home is where the hurt is darlin'

Follow your heart

So she walks into this dead end bar

Sticks her handbag

On the chair

So she walks into this dead end bar

Puts hers handbag on the chair

And she waits

For words we shared

When we were 15 and still cared

Cos she feels I'm a scar from the wound that time cant heal

And I said

Don't let your dreams out of your head

Stick it to the man instead

Don't fool your heart

Lying about the fears that you had back then

Did you try to change your life

Did you ever try to change your life

You repeat and repeat and repeat

Now what's up with that

Now she loves somebody else

In flash clothes

She was the girl with the acid stare

And now she paid to have

One of those

And she weighs the word she says

And she knows

You exist

Now she feels I'm the scar from the wound that time cant heal

Oh spread your wings

Before they fall apart

Home is where the hurt is darlin

Follow your heart

Spread your wings

Before they fall apart

Home is where the hurt is darlin

Follow your heart

Heart, heart, heart

This is a great line from another of his song's too; "At what point did you realise, that everybody loves your life but you"

"And if you die before i leave

What on earth becomes of me

Look around theres noone here

To love me and hold me"

"The Trouble With Me"

You see the trouble with me

I'm a basket case

I don't think I can love, love, love

You see the trouble with you

Is your in love with me

What a strange thing to do

What a brave place to be

So we dive

On sunset strip

Our hearts so deep

I drown in it

And as it breaks

I swim through cracks

And leave with words

I can't take back

So she stays

On sunset strip

Our hearts so full

I drown in it

She's waiting for

My words to break

The one true love

I couldn't make

So she walks

That golden mile

Men will try

And catch her eye

We both know

What could have been

On sunset strip

Our broken dream

I'm hoping everything will be back to normal when we get back to school. But then again, no doubt we will all hear about their wonderful meal together and i bet we hear it again and again and again. Its like rubbing salt into raw wounds, well thats how it feels to me anyway. Thankfully CJ said i could go and stay with them at lunch if things got bad, at least there's that option open i suppose.

"The courage isn't to love someone. It's letting them love you back."

Wise words i guess...

But words are empty unless you follow them through...

Letting go and moving on...possibly the two most hardest things in life?...

Now when i look at chris i can only picture him with someone else. I told him things i should never have told but if he cant face my truths then he wont except me for who i am. My heart has let him go but my mind is screaming no. but he's gone like everything else...
I still love Jas and it hurts so much when people bring up his name. i miss him too. I mean today for the first time since we split i actually wrote i love J.H on my hand. I know im clinging onto the past but the past is all i have left...
I mean me and him, We could sit and talk about this all night long And wonder why we didn't last Yes they might be the best days We will ever know But we'll have to leave them in the past Because there's two people standing in our way...
That same old look in your eyes It's a beautiful night I'm so tempted to stay But too much time has gone by We should just say goodbye And turn and walk away
If only life was that simple...
No, I'll never forget you I'll never let you out of my heart You will always be here with me I'll hold on to the memories babyYeah Somewhere I know you'll be With me Someday in another time But right now you're gone You just vanished away But I'll never leaveYou behind...
Then theres Toy and Star...both your lifes were a tribute to the horse's unbreakable spirit. you bothe overcame odds, over and over again, nothing could ever break either of you. and in your struggles to overcome whatever life handed you, you took me along for the ride. you both made a little girl believe her dreams could come true, that she could do anything, that not all was lost...you both made a little girl beleive she could do anything because you both could do anything. you were both there for me when my family and friends failed me in so many ways, but neither of you ever failed me. you two have been the only stable things in my life. ..
Dreaming of Ireland is all that keeps me hoping and belieiving that someday evrything will be ok. Its my one hope left in this world and 'she' has to put it down. i know she will never visit me i guess she will be to wrapped up in her own world with 'him'. at least scarlett and faye will come out and keep in touch. they are the only two apart from my mum and grandparents that i have in the world to trust and tell things. Toy's gone and Star i fear wont be long behind her now...and thats my fault...i broke my promise and let her down, just like i did to Toy...i feel such a worthless fucking stupid bitch for letting my two angels down in the world.
AND THEN THAT FUCKING BITCH TELLS ME TO SPEAK TO JACKIE. DOES SHE CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS? DOES SHE UNDERSTAND? IF I SPOKE TO HER ID BE STARING STARS MUDERER IN THE FACE, OR AM I THE MURDERER? IF THAT IGNORANT BITCH KEEPS BREAKING HEALING WOUNDS THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WOULD SHE TALK CIVILY TO DIVA AND ARWENS OWNER? I THINK NOT.
i think that if i dont manage to move to ireland after my fucking GCSE's then i'll end up in a coffin sooner than i planned cos i can't stay here for much longer. i'm already starting to give up on the place where i live, take school for example.
i've just lost everything apart from one word which keeps me going; IRELAND...

From now on i'm gonna fuck things up my way..

ok here goes...
AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry had to do that!!
im am really, really stressed and pissed off!!!
Jas is sneaking back into my head again! Dont yell at me i cant help it! maybe this song will help you guys understand?

I walk along the city streets

You used to walk along with me

And every step I take recalls

How much in love we used to be

Oh, how can I forget you babe

When there is always something there to remind me

Always something there to remind me

I was born to love you

And I will never be free

You'll always be a part of me

When shadows fall I pass the small café

Where we would dance at night

And I can't help recalling

How it felt to kiss and hold you tight

Oh, how can I forget you babe

When there is always something there to remind me

Always something there to remind me

I was born to love you

And I will never be free

You'll always be a part of me

If you should find you miss the sweet

And tender love we used to share

Just come back to the places

Where we used to go and I'll be there

Oh, how can I forget you babe

When there is always something there to remind me

Always something there to remind me

I was born to love you

And I will never be free

You'll always be a part of me

I'll never love another, baby

I never will forget you, baby

You'll always be a part of me...

please somebody help!! i keep looking at my mobile (called pinky by the way!!) and either hoping that he'll text me or wondering whether i should text him. I keep reading the message he sent me saying that he still loves me and he always will and i just keep thinking. I keep thinking what it would be like now if i hadn't of fucked things up, what i would be doing if we were still together like would i be in his arms or lying next to him. Then i remember some of the bad stuff too like feeling trapped and other shit that i can't be bothered to go into now. But there were so many good times. I wish i could find out how he feels, it would stop my mind from wandering and thinking...
But then theres Chris. I love him for all the reasons why i hate Jas. But then i love Jas for all the reasons why Chris irritates me. Real bummer, eh?

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone,

Without a dream in my heart,

Without a love of my own,

Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for,

You heard me saying a prayer for,

Someone I really could care for,

And then there suddenly appeared before me,

The only one my arms will ever hold,

I heard somebody whisper "please adore me,

"And when I looked the moon had turned to gold,

Blue moon, now I'm no longer alone,

Without a dream in my heart,

Without a love of my own.

that song really reminds me of him (chris)

Its like i heard from someone that chris only came last friday to be sociable and the person also said that he was just using me just because i was there. But then Chris told me that the only reason why he came was because i was going. So who do i beleive? He's also said that he misses me so what am i supposed to make of that? And then i've got this real creepy feeling that somehtings going on behind my back. I dunno if im just being paronoid but no matter what laura says i know she still likes chris. And obviously she would have told Lucy this. Then today in food i overheard Laura and Chris talking about going out for a meal - just those two and Lucy. And that's when i hit the roof but on the inside rather than just walking up to them and going ballistic. So is it just me or is Lucy trying to get those two together? cos none of us have been invited to this dinner thing and i for one have not even heard of it til now. And she is always asking him to go up hers for a ride and to to their own bit of hunting. And i am now getting really suspicous. If Chris has moved on then fine i accept that. But if him and Laura get together then i am just going to walk away and say Fuck You and leave our little group and go back to my old gang. Its not so much jelousy but what kind of best friend gets with the guy who you gave your heart too. It would be like me going out with Phil. I know i didn't write about it on here cos i din't want to worry my friends but it did hit me harder than splitting with Jas. i mean lets face the truth if moley hadn't of rung me when he did then lets face it i wouldnt be here writing this message now. But im over that sort of stuff at the moment. Like i said if my suspicions come true then im just going to blow a gasket and scream a few home truths at who's supposed to be my mate cos at the mo she just seems to wrapped up in her own world to care about how others are feeling and how pissed off they are getting with a few things in particular.

I don't know when I've been so blue

Don't know what's come over you

You've found someone new

And don't it make my green eyes blue

I'll be fine when you're gone

I'll just cry all night long

Say it isn't true

And don't it make my green eyes blue

Tell me no secrets, tell me some lies

Give me no reasons, give me alibis

Tell me you love me and don't let me cry

Say anything but don't say goodbye

I didn't mean to treat you bad

Didn't know just what I had

But honey now I do

And don't it make my green eyes

Don't it make my green eyes

Don't it make my green eyes blue

that songs quite apt at the mo i think!!

Why does the sun go on shining

Why does the sea rush to shore

Don't they know it's the end of the world

Cause you don't love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing

Why do the stars glow above

Don't they know it's the end of the world

It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder

Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand,

no, I can't understand

How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating

Why do these eyes of mine cry

Don't they know it's the end of the world

It ended when you said goodbye

Why does my heart go on beating

Why do these eyes of mine cry

Don't they know it's the end of the world

It ended when you said goodbye

see that one thing i dont get. how people think they know it all when they think that after the day when you've split up with someone they think that your fine and not hurting. WELL YOUR FUCKING WRONG LUVVIE COS YOU DONT KNOW SWEET FUCK ALL BUT SOMEDAY SOON YOU WILL GET TO KNOW AND YOU WILL GET TO REALISE COS I AM AT BREAKING POINT AND IM NOT GOING TO TAKE MUCH MORE SHIT. PERHAPS ONE DAY YOU'LL LEARN WHAT ITS LIKE FROM EXPERIANCE AND MAYBE YOU WONT HAVE THE BEST MATE I DID TO PICK UP ALL THE PIECES AND TOO BASICALLT TALK SOME SENSE INTO YOU TO STOP YOURSELF FROM KILLING YOURSELF. COS THATS THE FUCKING TRUTH. I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN SO IT SINKS IN? I WANTED TO KILL MYSLEF. THATS HOW MUCH THE PAIN HURTS AND IT LASTS LONGER THAN ONE FUCKING DAY. AND ANOTHER THING YOUR HORSE WAS NOT MY HORSE. SO DON'T THINK YOU NOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO LOOSE HER COS YOU FUCKING DONT. YOURS WASN'T YOUR LIFELINE- THE ONE THING THAT KEPT YOU SAFE - THE ONE THING YOU HAD IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU COULD COUNT ON AND TRUST AND THAT HORSE WAS ALL I LIVED FOR. SO DONT EVER FUCKING COMAPRE HER TO ANY OF YOURS COS THEY WONT EVEN BE SLIGHLY LIKE HER SO NO ACTUALLY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS FUCKING LIKE SO DONT TELL ME YOU DO. AND YOU SAY THAT YOU DONT LIKE YOURSELF FOR HAVING ONE OF YOURS OUT ON LOAN- WELL WAKE UP BABE AND SMELL THE ROSES. 1. AT LEAST HE IS STILL ALIVE AND 2. AT LEAST YOU KNOW HES SAFE AND BEING PROPERLY LOOKED AFTER. COS RIGHT NOW GUILT IS KILLING ME FOR LEAVING STAR WITH JACKIE. I LAY AWAKE AND WONDER WHETHER SHES SAFE, WARM - STILL ALIVE EVEN/ I GAVE THAT MARE HOPE AND THEN I JUST LEFT HER THROUGH NO FAULT OF HER OWN. SHE HASNT DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO ANYONE IN HER LIFE YET SHE'S SUFFERING. JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND WAKE UP TO THE REAL WORLD BEFORE THE REAL WORLD GETS YOU. IF THAT MARE DIES THROUGH IGNORANCE THEN THATS THE LAST STRAW. COS I CERTAINLY WONT BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH MYSELF IF SHE DOES, NOT A CHANCE.

SO NEXT TIME DONT EVER FUCKING COMAPRE SOMETHING TO TOYA OR TO STAR COS YOU WONT. AND I WONT LET YOU SAY IT AGAIN EITHER BECAUSE SOMEHOW I DONT THINK IM GOING TO STAND FOR HEARING SHIT LIKE THAT ANYMORE, NO FUCKING WAY. YEAH I MAYBE A CRUEL AND HEARTLESS BITCH BUT LETS FACE IVE ONLY LEARNT BY EXAMPLE AND IVE ONLY BECOME LIKE IT BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THIS WORLD REALLY IS LIKE AND WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN IT.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M HAPPY FOR YOU

i WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU BOTH.

AN OLDER VERSION OF ME

IS SHE PERVERTED LIKE ME

WOULD SHE GO DOWN ON YOU IN A THEATER

DOES SHE SPEAK ELOQUENTLY

AND WOULD SHE HAVE YOUR BABY

I'M SURE SHE'D MAKE A REALLY EXCELLANT MOTHER

'Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful

I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know

Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced

AND Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me

And I'm not gonna fade

As soon as you close your eyes and you know it

And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back

I hope you feel it...well can you feel it...

SO YEAH QUIT TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK COS I THINK YOU WILL FIND I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING OPNION ANYWAY. GET IT INTO YOU HEAD YOU KNOW FUCK ALL. FUCK ALL. FUCK ALL. FUCK ALL. SO LEAVE ME TO FUCK THINGS UP MY WAY COS I DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT FUCKING THINGS UP YOUR WAY.

Look at the Old Boy go!!!!

The Ol' Lad's Back...

I am still hyped from Saturday bout dear old roo!!! He won his race!! YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is such a star!! last season i really wanted them to retire him but maybe he's found his old spirit again and is determined to prove the bookmakers wrong!! Good las i say!!!!
He's a tough ol' lad and i love him cos he always tries his hardest and never gives up!!!
Go Roo Go!!!!!!

I May be a Cruel and Heartless Bitch but im Damn Good at It

The First Cut Is The Deepest

i would have given you all of my heart

but there's someone who's torn it apart

and he's taken just all that i have

but if you want i'll try to love again

baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

the first cut is the deepest

baby i know

the first cut is the deepest

but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed

when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side

just to help me dry the tears that i've cried

and i'm sure gonna give you a try

if you want i'll try to love again, (try)

baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

OOHHH,the first cut is the deepest

baby i know

the first cut is the deepest

but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed

but when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side

just to help me dry the tears that i've cried

but i'm sure gonna give you a try

cuz if you want i'll try to love again

(try to love again, try to love again)

baby, i'll try to love again

I wasn't born a bitch men like you made me that way...

Hey Scarlett, this is one arab that i would have! Yep its THE BLACK STALLION!!!! me and mother love him he's gorgeous!!!

Like A Comet

Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky

Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow

Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye

Gone Too Soon

Shiny And SparklyAnd Splendidly Bright

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight

On A Cloudy Afternoon

Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle

Built Upon A Sandy Beach

Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower

That Is Just Beyond Your Reach

Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like A Sunset

Dying With The Rising Of The Moon

Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

i know i shouldn't really laugh but im laughing! If only he could see and hear himself, then he would know how stupid he looked and sounded. I really couldn't beleive what Scarlett told me from her DT lesson. That's why i'm still laughing. And to think i loved him too! i might as well have went out with a 2 year old, in fact i would of probably got more sense out of a 2 year old but hey!! i mean how many months ago did we split? five, six months ago? i really do wish i could find out what really is going on in that head of his!!

I want Bubbles to cheer up too!

Oh and it was sooooooo funny with mel j today!! sorry for making you laugh at the wrong moment scarlett!!!

I really don't know which club to join though! but one thing's for sure i ain't joining Kings Brompton just so i can see Jas, don't kid yourself luvvie!!!

lv sqk!

-xx--------------------

heart of a lion

spirit takes flight

Funny, but not very far from the truth anymore

Dreaming of the future

Looks very familiar!!!

And this one appeared on the paper too

Your gait is long and strong
Your mane flows in the wind
You summon your courage, strength and endurance,
You are running to win.
You do not know what is at stake
Or what kind of hero you may be
Your only wish it to leave the others, hiding, inyour wake.
As your big heart thumps out your life-giving blood,
And your hooves seem to dance,
You would run forever,if you had the chance.
As your hooves pound out a rhythmic beat,
The crowd jumps up, screaming, to their feet.
Your rider and you are together as one;
But the race isn't over
You have not yet won.
As you get closer and closer to winning the race,
Behind you is an every growing space.
You pass the line with flying colors- - -
But you must look back to see the others.
They catch up to you and pass you by
Their wind whooshes over you- - -
They gave it their best try.
To the circle you go for you did win.
You have been born again
the Great Champion.

Just wrote these whilst thinking

The red stallions
The red stallions
are dancing
beside a river
under the moon
whose shiny fingers
brush their silky manes
the grass is moaning
under their restless legs
the waves are whispering
about grief and passion
the night is endless
the dancers are immortal

Somebody is Sad
The rain is dripping off the leaves,
somebody is crying in a garden.
It is night.
The stars are smiling
the stars are dreaming
but somebody is very sad,
because of the Stars
because of love
because of the tears and sorrows
because it is so bitter
to leave the Earth forever.

I Will Meet You Someday
Give me your smile
give me your name
give me your tears
give me your nights
and I'll take you with me
on a pearly cloud.
I will tell you all
about my love.
You are far away
you are only my dream
you are only my song,
you are only my star
but I'll meet you someday
on a lonely road
and your smile someday
will belong to me.
I will take you with me
on a pearl cloud
I will tell you all
about my love.

The lonely roads
The lonely roads,
where I am wandering alone...
under the Stars
I am alone.
The wind is whispering
your name to me.
I see your smile,
I hear your voice
among the trees,
where I am wandering alone.

I thought I left my past behind
I thought I left my past behind...
but it's not true.
I see you through the years.
my nights are full of you.
I love you now even more,
when you are resting in the heavens,
surrounded with a holy radiance.
Your triumph will be soon
so great and pure,
and I will be with you forever.

Maybe there is a God!!

Today the jump season properly started!!! Yipee!!! Sadly Geraghty wasn't riding in the racing on TV as he was riding in Ireland but its finally back!!
Good old Mouseski was back and won his race which was really nice to see the old lad gallop easily home, ears pricked to first place.
But Iris' Gift (pictured above) really caught the eye. Everyone knew he was quite special after last seaon's campaign but he went out today and again cruised through the field to a very well deserved first place.
There were a few fallers and disappointments but they all got up again to race another day.
Amberleigh House was also running today but was pulled up. Only due to the fact it was a shorter distance to what he usually runs and the pace was much to quick and it was only a race to keep him fit and intrested so nobody was expecting him to do anymore than he did.
Anyway National Hunt racing is back in season and will continue to do so. This is one sport that the LACS CERTAINLY WONT BE BANNING not ever...

There is no going back

There you are, in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows

Come to come, come to me

Can't you see that

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
(ohh) Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you

Ooh ooh, yeah
Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song
It's a seranade, so your heart can find me, ohh
And suddenly you're flying down the stairs
Into my arms, baby, ohh

Before I start going crazy

Going crazy, ohh

Run to me

Run to me

Cause I'm dying...

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (don't wanna cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life (ohh)
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why

Why, why don't you let me love you

I wanna feel you need me

Just like the air you're breathing

Breathing, I need you here in my life

Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk alway, don't walk away
No, no, no, no...

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry...yeah yeah

Why don't you let me love you...

Last night was so good. Chris came down and braved the watchet crowd! Just being in his arms, all my fears just disappeared i felt safe, secure and where i belonged. And he wore his fleece that i like lol!!!!
But now its like it never happened. Nothings changed. But one things for sure i love him and always will, no matter what...

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun toeat a big one

If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards

If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in

What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will

If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed

Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for

Ok i'm bored!!!

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims

Can you grow birds by planting birdseed

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat

If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk

How is it possible to have a civil war

How can there be "self help GROUPS

Does the little mermaid wear an algebra

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery

If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented

If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections

Where does the white go when the snow melts

IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES

And some more!!!

If you have something to say, raise your hand. and place it over your mouth.

I'm back by popular demand.

I'm objective; I object to everything.

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

Life is not a garden, so quit being a hoe

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.

Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody

Out Of My Mind; Back In Five Minutes

Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit!!!!!

T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Your village called, their idiot is missing.

Do stairs go up or down?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?

Some more quotes to keep us entertained!

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends

What happens if you get scared half to death twice

Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away

"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all

"my tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me."

Anger is one letter short of danger

If you die, I'll kill you!

Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

I love him, O yes I do,He's for me, not for you,And if by chance you take my place,I'll take my fist and smash your face! (could be good to say to someone luv sqk!!)

Strangers have the best candy

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

I'm a cruel and heartless bitch but I’m damn good at it

" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control.

All men are idiots, and I married their king.

Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.

I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want

They didn't let me out, they just gave me a day pass!

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Adrenalin is my drug of choice.

Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk

Blondes Tease....Brunettes Please....

Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.

Condoms are easier to change than diapers!

Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

Do they ever shut up on your planet.

Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that

Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.

Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; You Won’t Get Out Alive

Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery

Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...

God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.

I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??

I hear you lost your cat? Check under my tire.

I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory

I love my country but fear my government.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.

If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animals out of meat?

If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?

If love is blind why is lingerie so popular

Break me, Shake me

its amazing how they manage to do it really. i mean how can you hate someone so much yet love them still at the same time. i really thought i had got him out of my life and head, for two months i managed it and now hes just back. After all the hurt. all the lies. all the bitching. i still deep down love him. Dont get me wrong i would never go back to him but it makes you wonder if he did click his fingers would i go running or would i turn and walk away. coz as we all know our hearts rule our heads.


I never thought I'd change my opinion again
But you moved me in a way that I've never known
You moved me in a way that I've never known

But straight away you just moved into position again
You abused me in a way that I've never known
You abused me in a way that I've never known

So break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
Just break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

So your the kind that deals with the games in the mind
Well you confuse me in a way that I've never known
You confuse me in a way that I've never known

So break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
SO WON'T YOU break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

She says, "I can help you, but what do you say?
Because it's not free baby, you have to pay.
"You just keep me contemplating, that your soul is slowly fading

God don't you know I live with a ton of regret?
'Cause I used to move you in a way that you've never known
But then I accused you in a way that you've never known
But you hurt me in a way that I've never known...

Break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
SO WON'T YOU break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

Listen, baby
Break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
You'll be, you'll be alone
Break me shake me hate me take me make me
Fake me break me shake me hate me take me
Break me

Anyways earth to squeak you can never go back there!!!!!!

It doesn't help with henry going on and on and on either. I think scarletts right though, in a way i did do it to prove something to chris. I think i wanted to make it clear that there were no ther guys in my life, that i just wanted him, and that i needed him to rescue me before its to late.
Flips being a complete asshole to scarlett as well. I cant beleive he said what he said about camping, i know he can be a bit slow but that takes the biscuit!
Bubbles is laying into me a bit as well. i mean shes the one that hated henry so much but now that ive told him to shove of im the bad guy?????????? (but dont tell her i said that coz i luv her to bits).
WHY CANT EVERYONE GET OFF OF MY CASE AND LET ME GET ON WITH MY LIFE AND LET ME DO WHAT I WANT TO DO??!!!!!
i know im unpredictable but for fucks sake just stop rolling the eyes, stop the sighs, stop the hmms and let me live being me (and no scarlett this aint towards you!)

A woman needs two animals: The horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it.

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven

Will it be the same

If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong, and carry on

Cause I know I don't belong

Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven

I'll find my way, through night and day

Cause I know I just can't stay

Here in heaven

Time can bring you down

Time can bend your knee

Time can break your heart

Have you begging please

Begging please

Beyond the door

There's peace I'm sure.

And I know there'll be no more...

Tears in heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven

Will it be the same

If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong, and carry on

Cause I know I don't belong

Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong

Here in heaven

Pretty green eyes,

So full of sparkle and such light,

Let me remind,

You chose not to cry.

Its all right,for your lover has come home,by your side

I'll always stay,never have to be alone.

Pretty green eyes,so full of wonder and despair

its all right to cry

for i'll be there to wipe your tears

and in your arms

together we're in paradise,and its so nice,

you'll never have to be alone (x3)

never have to be, never have to be

never have to, never have to be alone (x2)

pretty green eyes,so full of sparkle and such light,

let me remind,you chose not to cry,

it's all right,for your lover has come home,

by your side I'll always stay,

never have to be alone