Born to be Wild...

...And so we both are!!!!,...

Making His Final Run...

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do



I would like to say how sorry I am on the sudden loss of such a brave horse.
To think I shall never see that gallant grey making his way to the start again just seems like a bad dream to be woken from.
Rooster Booster was and will always be one of my favourite racehorses. I think the main reason why I loved him so much was the fact that he was all heart and guts and was never prepared to say no. The determination and the love for what he was doing was always clear to see in every race he ran.
I used to watch his races religiously but I do admit that my fingers were always crossed over every fence he jumped for it didn’t matter to me if he didn’t win – I just wanted him to come back safe and sound. And he did.
I feel so lucky to have seen him run with my own eyes when we went to the Grand National this year. I can still see him walking around the parade ring – head high, ears pricked forward, taking everything in. Another time I was lucky enough to see him was at this years Gatcombe Horse Trials when he was in the parade of racehorses. When he came in the ring that day and they replayed his Cheltenham Gold Cup win it bought a tear to my eye – that race always does – just seeing him battle it up the hill, pass the winning post and then watching the reception is obviously one of my greatest memories of him. But I didn’t love him just because he won the Cheltenham Gold Cup I loved him because he tried and was so full of determination.
I pass Phillip Hobbs’ place every day on the school bus and every morning I always look out the window to watch the horses making their way up the gallops and hope to catch a glimpse of the horse that will always have a place in my heart and memories. I did not see them running at all on that fatal morning – I’m glad I didn’t and the news I received when I got home came as such a shock, I freely admit I cried. I was so looking forward to his run on Boxing Day, it’s going to be hard to watch it knowing that he should be there but I pray that he is now in a place where all our legends, champions, cherished friends and companions go.
I know from experience that words can never sum up the loss of a horse – it’s too deep and personal to describe or explain. But I found comfort when I learned he went doing what he loved and no one had to make the agonising decision of euthanasia if he had broken a leg or injured himself on the racecourse. Lastly I would like to say thank you for sharing this wonderful horse with us, thank you for all the memories. I will cherish my memories of Rooster Booster forever, I’m just so sorry he’s now gone – He may be gone but he will never be forgotten.

Making His Final run...

Rooster Booster dies on gallops

Rooster claims Cheltenham win Former Cheltenham Champion Hurdle winner Rooster Booster has died suddenly on the gallops.
The 11-year-old grey passed away on Tuesday while being prepared for the Stan James Christmas Hurdle at Sandown on Boxing Day.
"He died of either a haemorrhage or a heart attack. We're not sure yet," said trainer Philip Hobbs.
Rooster Booster won the 2003 Champion Hurdle and was runner-up to Hardy Eustace the following year.
"At least he died enjoying what he did best," said Hobbs. "He was having a gallop ahead of the Christmas Hurdle when it happened."
Rooster Booster was runner-up to Harchibald in that race at Kempton last year.

Truly dreadful news, it really is turning into a very bad season for jumps fans
From RR
Have your say on Five Live
His regular partner Richard Johnson was devastated on hearing the news.
"It's a big shock. He was a horse that loved life," he said.
"He gave great pleasure, not only to myself but to the owner and to everyone connected with him.
"He gave me one of the highlights of my career when winning the Champion Hurdle. It was a fantastic day and I'll never forget him."

To be honest i'm too shocked to say anything and to be honest it wont sink in until boxing day. So i'll write my tribute then.
I just can't beleive he's gone...

I Hope You Had The Time Of Your LIfe...

Riding is an art.
Horsemanship is a way of life.
Riding is a skill.
Horsemanship is a state of being.


My friend drove off the other day
Now she's gone and all they say
Is you gotta live cause life goes on
But now I see I'm mortal too
and I cant live my life like you

Gotta live it up while life goes on
And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
Cause thats the way I wanna live
Its how I give
And I'm still giving

And now I wonder bout my friend
Cause she lived her life like I live mine
If you could see inside my head
Then you would start to understand
The things I value in my heart

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
Cause thats the way I wanna live
Its how I give
And I'm still giving

You know that
I know that
You're watching me

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
Cause thats the way I wanna live
Its how I give
And I'm still giving
Gotta make a plan
Gotta do what's right

Can't run around in circles
If ya wanna build a life
But I don't wanna make a plan
For a day far away
While im young and while I'm able
All I wanna do is...


Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Who Am I? Where Am I? What Am I? And Who Am I Trying To Kid?

Yeah he pissed me off but i feel for him now too. What's been put on his shoulders to make him have to decide between the rest of his life and me. See i can understand his reasoning for having to put his life first, thinking about it i would probably have done the same. He's hurting too, i saw it in his eyes when we caught each other's eyes earlier. I could see the pain flickering in those eyes it was like staring in a mirror.

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too
Coz what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this
Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss

Who are they
And where are they
And how do they
Know all this
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this

But lunchtime today made my mind up for sure. Its just the little things like just coming in at lunch that mean so much - i mean no other guy in my life would have done that or any of the other things that keep me drawn to him. He's not my usual type either but maybe that's the attraction - i really don't know. But one thing i do know is that i can rely on him which is more than what i can say for someone else.

Said there'd be no going back
Promised myself I'd never be that sad
Maybe that's why you've come along
To show me, it's not always bad

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

It's true I've become a skeptic
How many couples really love
Just wish I had a crystal ball
To show me, if it's worth it all

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

And I've got to be sure
Coz it's been so long
And I cannot take the pain again
If it all goes wrong

I want you so much
I need you so much
I want you so much
I need you so much
(believe me my love
Believe me my love)

Am i really happy or is it just a distraction until i leave?
Thinking about Tim i can understand him too. I have changed - for the worse according to most people but underneath i'm still the same lass - why can't they see that?
Why can't they just let me be me?


I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room or my private womb
While the moms and brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot Of the 7-11 were I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

I read the graffiti In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth Is the end of the world
And I could really care less

I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care

Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care! I don't care!

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time

I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...


I guess things will work out, they usually do, eventually...

God put me here to piss the world off

Ok i never thought i would say this but i really love eminem. His lyrics are brill and true too...

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, i've been protested and demonstrated against, picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times, sick is the mind of the motherfuckin' kid that's behind, all this commotion, emotions run deep as ocean's explodin', tempers flaring from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin', not takin' nothin' from no one, give 'em hell long as i'm breathin', keep kickin' ass in the mornin', an' takin' names in the evening, leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth, see they can trigger me but they'll never figure me out, look at me now, I bet ya' probably sick of me now, ain't you mama, i'ma make you look so ridiculous now...



And this song is just fucking hilarious!!!!!
Guilty Conscience - Eminem(feat. Dr. Dre)
[sound of static]
[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store. ("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes") But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")
[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence (But who are you?) I'm your motherfuckin conscience
[Eminem]
That's nonsense! Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade
[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you Think about it before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns [Eminem]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!) Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!) Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you (You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)
[sound of static]
("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute") ("Mmm, I don't know!") ("Look baby..") ("Damn!") ("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?") ("Well OK..")
[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!") After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")
[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.. (Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair) Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!) Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there (Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?) No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest! (Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?) Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..
[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]
[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man. ("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!") ("Grady!!")
[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? (What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy
[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??! [Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?) I'ma kill you motherfucker!
[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
[Dr. Dre] Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?
[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]



Lose Yourself - Eminem
Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah! Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked He's so mad, but he won't give up that Is he? No He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes It don't matter, he's dope He knows that, but he's broke He's so stacked that he knows When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's Back to the lab again yo This whole rap shit He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him
[Hook:] You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping This world is mine for the taking Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortar It only grows harder, only grows hotter He blows us all over these hoes is all on him Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter Lonely roads, God only knows He's grown farther from home, he's no father He goes home and barely knows his own daughter But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water His bosses don't want him no mo, he's cold product They moved on to the next schmoe who flows He nose dove and sold nada So the soap opera is told and unfolds I suppose it's old potna, but the beat goes on Da da dum da dum da da
[Hook] No more games, I'ma change what you call rage Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper All the pain inside amplified by the fact That I can't get by with my 9 to 5 And I can't provide the right type of life for my family Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus See dishonor caught up bein a father and a prima donna Baby mama drama's screamin on and Too much for me to wanna Stay in one spot, another jam or not Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go I cannot grow old in Salem's lot So here I go is my shot. Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got
[Hook] You can do anything you set your mind to, man

[eminem] Hi kids! do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!) Try ’cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (huh? ) My brain’s dead weight, I’m tryin to get my head straight But I can’t figure out which spice girl I want to impregnate (ummmm..) And dr. dre said, slim shady you a basehead! Uh-uhhh! so why’s your face red? man you wasted! Well since age twelve, I’ve felt like I’m someone else Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped pamela lee’s tits off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like kris kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C’mere slut! (shady, wait a minute, that’s my girl dog!) I don’t give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!


I sit back with this pack of zig zags and this bag Of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be The most meanest mc on this -- on this earth And since birth I’ve been cursed with this curse to just curse And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve All this tension dispensin these sentences Gettin this stress that’s been eatin me recently off of this chest And I rest again peacefully (peacefully).. But at least have the decency in you To leave me alone, when you freaks see me out In the streets when I’m eatin or feedin my daughter To not come and speak to me (speak to me).. I don’t know you and no, I don’t owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing I’m not mr. n’sync, I’m not what your friends think I’m not mr. friendly, I can be a prick If you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty).. No patience is in me and if you offend me I’m liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air I don’t care who is there and who saw me destroy you Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit I’ll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe I’m tired of all you (of all you).. I don’t mean to be mean but that’s all I can be is just me
And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won’t even play my jam Cause I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am I don’t know it’s just the way I am

Have you ever loved someone so much you give an arm for Not the expression, NO, literally give an arm for When they know they are your heart and you know you are their armor And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her But what happens when karma turns right around and bites you ? And everything you stand for, turns on you despite you ? What happens when you become the main source of her pain
...And when I'm gone, just carry on... don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice, Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling, And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain. Just smile back...

Hey baby what's your sign? "Do Not Enter"...

You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely, but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)
I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is
(And baby all I need for you to know is)

It's not that I wanna say goodbye
It's just that every time you try to tell me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I'm going to have to eventually give you away
And though my love is rare
And though my love is true
Hey I'm just scared
That we may fall through...


Right, that's it. Beth is coming to Ireland with me. I think she needs to get out of this shithole as much as i do, no more. See i've gone the whole way down the depressive scale and lets face it im only here because one person beleived in me. Im lucky cos i survived and i survived without any doing any damage (as of yet anyway, the doctor told me theres still time but hey, fuck him im going to Ireland). So before my best mate falls into that one way trap we are going to Ireland. Even if i have to drag her kicking and screaming cos i can't leave her behind, especially like this...