Who Am I? Where Am I? What Am I? And Who Am I Trying To Kid?

Yeah he pissed me off but i feel for him now too. What's been put on his shoulders to make him have to decide between the rest of his life and me. See i can understand his reasoning for having to put his life first, thinking about it i would probably have done the same. He's hurting too, i saw it in his eyes when we caught each other's eyes earlier. I could see the pain flickering in those eyes it was like staring in a mirror.

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too
Coz what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this
Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss

Who are they
And where are they
And how do they
Know all this
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this

But lunchtime today made my mind up for sure. Its just the little things like just coming in at lunch that mean so much - i mean no other guy in my life would have done that or any of the other things that keep me drawn to him. He's not my usual type either but maybe that's the attraction - i really don't know. But one thing i do know is that i can rely on him which is more than what i can say for someone else.

Said there'd be no going back
Promised myself I'd never be that sad
Maybe that's why you've come along
To show me, it's not always bad

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

It's true I've become a skeptic
How many couples really love
Just wish I had a crystal ball
To show me, if it's worth it all

Coz I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I'm falling for you
But I'm scared to, let go
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt so

And I've got to be sure
Coz it's been so long
And I cannot take the pain again
If it all goes wrong

I want you so much
I need you so much
I want you so much
I need you so much
(believe me my love
Believe me my love)

Am i really happy or is it just a distraction until i leave?
Thinking about Tim i can understand him too. I have changed - for the worse according to most people but underneath i'm still the same lass - why can't they see that?
Why can't they just let me be me?


I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room or my private womb
While the moms and brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot Of the 7-11 were I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

I read the graffiti In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth Is the end of the world
And I could really care less

I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care

Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care! I don't care!

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time

I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...


I guess things will work out, they usually do, eventually...