Earth's Loss is Heavens Gain...

Christ its unbeleivable that 4 years have passed since Toya left us. I would give absoloutely anything to just hold her once more and kiss her, wrap my arms around her warm, comforting neck, know she's safe, tell her i'm sorry, tell her i'm thankyou for everything she did but more importantly to tell her that i love her and that i always will.
Today on the Quantocks it was Heaven... The frost sparkiling in the sunlight, everything was so crisp, so clear. The cool, gentle breeze carried her spirit to me. I closed my eyes and felt that familiar nudge at my elbow and soft whicker in my ear. Keeping my eyes closed i kept her with me...the more they were closed the more real she became...i told her everything and it was like old times...then once again i saw that longing in her eyes, so i kissed her and let her go...i watched her spirit dance, i watched her spirit run, i watched her spirit play, i watched her spirit in peace...
There are some things that time can never heal. I don't think pain lessens either, i just think that you become used to it.
Never look back unless you can smile and never look forward unless you can dream...
And i now can look back and smile, smile at everything we did, smile at all her little quirks and ways... and i can dream, dream for the future and dream for the day where we are stood side by side once more...but this time forever...