Some more quotes to keep us entertained!

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends

What happens if you get scared half to death twice

Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away

"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all

"my tears for you are like dark chocolate- bitter sweet and probably no good for me."

Anger is one letter short of danger

If you die, I'll kill you!

Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

I love him, O yes I do,He's for me, not for you,And if by chance you take my place,I'll take my fist and smash your face! (could be good to say to someone luv sqk!!)

Strangers have the best candy

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

I'm a cruel and heartless bitch but I’m damn good at it

" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control.

All men are idiots, and I married their king.

Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young

I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.

I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want

They didn't let me out, they just gave me a day pass!

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Adrenalin is my drug of choice.

Avoid Hangovers; Stay Drunk

Blondes Tease....Brunettes Please....

Buy a gun. Piss off the liberals.

Condoms are easier to change than diapers!

Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

Do they ever shut up on your planet.

Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that

Don’t Piss Me Off! I’m Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.

Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; You Won’t Get Out Alive

Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery

Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering...

God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.

I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions??

I hear you lost your cat? Check under my tire.

I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Was Unfamiliar Territory

I love my country but fear my government.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.

If God intended us to be vegetarians, why did he make animals out of meat?

If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?

If love is blind why is lingerie so popular