When It's Too Late...

Mother looks into your room
All your favorite things
Never moving
Recall a night
You went out to have some fun
Racing down the road
Never returning
Tragedy can stop the beating heart
Society stops a life before it starts

Brother playing in the yard
Too young to understand
Never forgiving
He waits patiently
Through the slowly ending days
For the guiding hand
That's never returning
Foolishness disguised as having fun
Promises destroyed

When the night is done
When it's too late
To mend your broken heart
When it's too late
For a love that you can share
When it's too late
To show how much you need them
When it's too late
To show how much you care

Memories can't mend a broken heart
A human life so badly torn apart
Badly torn apart
Foolishness disguised as having fun
Promises destroyed
When the night is done
When it's too late

Nothing Compares To You..

It’s funny how the distance can make you feel close
And the things you lost are the things you want most
The weather’s fine here – perfect shade of blue
I guess that’s why I’ve been thinking of you

So I call you up just to tell you why
Why I left you and say goodbye
Ooh must be the mood I’m in
I’m thinking of you again
I call you up just to tell you why
Why I left you and say goodbye

I know you’re different now
and I guess I changed too
And I thought what was once so right
was so wrong for you
Yesterday I was talking and I heard your name
The weather’s fine here with a slight chance of rain

So I call you up just to tell you why
Why I left you and say goodbye
Ooh must be the mood I’m in
I’m thinking of you again
I call you up just to tell you why
Why I left you and say goodbye

Time makes you sorry for the things that you’ve done
Sometimes you walk away and sometimes you run
And the weather’s fine here;
I can feel a slight chill
Somethings change babe and some never will

I call you up just to tell you why
To say I love you and to say goodbye

p.s. I Love You...

Tonight was the first night in ages that i felt a pang for Toya. It did dawn on me though that i've been allowing myself to cling onto the hope and imagine that when i wake up she will be there cos that was how it had always been. But i'm accepting that with death there are no exceptions. Gone means gone. I know that i have to stop living my life in my head, remembering old memories and dreaming impossible dreams. It will never get me anywhere...
...which leads me onto somemone else. I know that if ever he needed me i would be there no matter what no matter how far away, no matter how complicated the situation. I really want him to find someonelse but also at the same time it would take awhile to get used to knowing that there finally was no going back... See i can only see him with one other person now, and its not me...
It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what you'll do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

all the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

I love this song, it's always been kinda special to me just like the one above...
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in the fields of gold
We'll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold

I'm genuinely happy. For once i'm going out with someone and not loving someone else at the same time, i'm getting there...!!!
He just makes me feel...
But with you I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

all my love
Dory
--xxx------------

Life's a Bitch and Then You Die... so Fuck the World and LETS GET BY

A girl and a guy can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall for each other..Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever..
that is just so so true...
but it wasn't temporarily, but it was at the wrong time it was certainly too late and almost definately for forever...
trouble was it was so good in our land based subjects briefing earlier... we didn't worry like we usually do, we were able to be together without the pressure of everyone else, maybe they've grown up - but i very much doubt it. And as the comments he kept making about one of my exes well, i thougt i was going to burst with laughter at one point.
yeah i can no longer deny that i still love him but i love someone else, i think even more - no scrap that i love someone else like ive never loved anyone before. do i have regrets? yeah. but doesn't everyone? isn't that life?
No, im finally home...

But then there's...

You look at me like you always do
You don't have a clue
You smile at me, you hug me
But, you don't know I want you
You play with me
You flirt with me
You tell me all your secrets
I'm always the one you run to
But to you, I'm just your friend

Don't say I love you
Don't say you need me
Don't say I trust you
My heart can't take it
Don't say you want me
Don't say you miss me
Don't hurt me
Don't say you love me

I've tried my best to rid these thoughts
Of you and I, it's so hard
When you come to me, I fall back on my knees
I've learned to hate love
You kissed me on the cheek and said
You'd never make it without me
It's getting harder everyday
Please don't say to me

Don't say I love you
Don't say you need me
Don't say I trust you
My heart can't take it
Don't say you want me
Don't say you miss me
Don't hurt me
Don't say you love me

At Last I Feel Me

At last, my love has come along,
My lonely days are over,
And life is like a song,

Ohhh at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover,
The night I looked at you

I found a dream that I could speak to,
A dream that I, can call my own,
I found a thrill, to press my cheek to,
A thrill that I, have never known,

Ohhh you smile, you smile
And then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven,
For you are mine, and i am yours


I wanted more than just an ordinary life
All of my dreams, seemed like castles in the sky
I stand before you and my heart is in your hands
And I dont know why
I couldn't survive without your kiss
Cuz you've given me
A reason to exist

And I don't know why
Why the sun decides to shine
But you've breathed your love into me just in time

Whatever They Say I Am ... Its What I'm Not

I don't understand why the girls in our year can be so bitchy to someone just because they are happy. I don't know if its jealousy or what but it's really beginning to piss me off. You would have thought they would have got bored with it now but i guess they just have nothing better to do with their lives...
On a better note though Appassionata was bloody brilliant!!! Had a wicked time (but then i always do at Scarlett's) and got to see Taggy's pups who were all absoloutely bloody gorgeous! My fave is Fidget though cos i think he was the one i cuddled the most and he has a wicked name!!!! And then on Sunday her cat had a kitten too, how cute?!!!!
I think my head is a little clearer too on the relationship side of things which is great i suppose. I know i've made the right descision and i really do think its better being really good/close mates with the other guy cos we have much more of a laugh and don't have people on our backs at the same time. Although out hunting we always get stick from everyone else which i find hilarious but he doesn't, which makes it even more funny!!!
Oh. and i must remember "Oh, i do say, i've just sighted a stag"!!! I really can't wait to do that, although knowing me i will probably forget...!!
I've just started reading a new book too. it's already made me cry. It's funny cos it's all about a girl whose husband died but he wants her to move on and be happy. Whats even funnier is that thats how it feels to me. It feels as if the guy i loved has died. He told me he wanted me to move on and be happy, its what ive done and i am so grateful to him coz otherwise i wouldn't have found ant. But he hasn't been able to move on he told me so himself, he hasn't been able to find someone else too love that will love him back, he hasn't been as lucky as me and i feel so bad about it...
"Remember the day
when I set you free
I told you could always, always count on me.
From that day on
I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
someday, somehow"

i like this song at the moment;

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh, beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
and may be empty.
Oh, how weightless,
then maybe ill find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
far away from here
from this dark lonely room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
May you find, some comfort here

So tired of the straight life
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escape them one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness,
that brings me to my knees