Whatever They Say I Am ... Its What I'm Not

I don't understand why the girls in our year can be so bitchy to someone just because they are happy. I don't know if its jealousy or what but it's really beginning to piss me off. You would have thought they would have got bored with it now but i guess they just have nothing better to do with their lives...
On a better note though Appassionata was bloody brilliant!!! Had a wicked time (but then i always do at Scarlett's) and got to see Taggy's pups who were all absoloutely bloody gorgeous! My fave is Fidget though cos i think he was the one i cuddled the most and he has a wicked name!!!! And then on Sunday her cat had a kitten too, how cute?!!!!
I think my head is a little clearer too on the relationship side of things which is great i suppose. I know i've made the right descision and i really do think its better being really good/close mates with the other guy cos we have much more of a laugh and don't have people on our backs at the same time. Although out hunting we always get stick from everyone else which i find hilarious but he doesn't, which makes it even more funny!!!
Oh. and i must remember "Oh, i do say, i've just sighted a stag"!!! I really can't wait to do that, although knowing me i will probably forget...!!
I've just started reading a new book too. it's already made me cry. It's funny cos it's all about a girl whose husband died but he wants her to move on and be happy. Whats even funnier is that thats how it feels to me. It feels as if the guy i loved has died. He told me he wanted me to move on and be happy, its what ive done and i am so grateful to him coz otherwise i wouldn't have found ant. But he hasn't been able to move on he told me so himself, he hasn't been able to find someone else too love that will love him back, he hasn't been as lucky as me and i feel so bad about it...
"Remember the day
when I set you free
I told you could always, always count on me.
From that day on
I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
someday, somehow"

i like this song at the moment;

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh, beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
and may be empty.
Oh, how weightless,
then maybe ill find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
far away from here
from this dark lonely room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
May you find, some comfort here

So tired of the straight life
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escape them one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness,
that brings me to my knees