Scars are Souvenirs You Never Lose

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cuz I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cuz sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight



And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am


Everything just seems a bit unreal at the mo. It's like my world is way too fast and i keep thinking to myself over and over that nothing's real and nothing ever lasts.

...Now this angry little girl
Drownin in this petty world
And I'm who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful
You're all a lie
I won't leave what you ain't got...

I'm glad though that i sorted things out with Chris last friday night when he came down to the beach party. I think we both realised that we dont need the fallout, of all the past that's in between us, we've been too good mates for too long. We took a gamble that didn't pay off but it's life and we've paid off the debt and now moving on and getting on with our lifes. And I'm not holding on to that part of my life anymore. I was struck for a moment however when he said your forgiven but not forgotten. As you can imagine those words went straight through me but then Ant made me laugh cos he bounded up at that moment and said christ you're either furious, suicidal or over the moon.
Its nearly a year since all the mess started. yep, its nearly a year ago that i started going out with Jas - 9th Feb... for a year i've killed myself from the inside out and it's not happening anymore - i've got a life back now. I wonder though if he'll remember - after all i was in love - i was in love with the life i had on that date a year ago but something inside of me said that i wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams i wanted, i wouldn't bow down and break. As i said to Chris when he asked me to make up with everyone - it's not in me - its not in me to give in - its not in me to kneel - its not in me to fall.

Somehow the world has changed me
and I've come home
to give back the things they took from you
And I feel you now
I'm not alone
I'll always know where you are

When I see myself I'll always know where you are
Where you are

And I found something that was always there
sometimes it's got to hurt before you feel
but now I'm strong and I won't kneel
except to thank who's watching over me
But somehow I feel so stong
and I've begun
to be the one I never thought I'd be
and I feel you know
I'm not alone
I'll always know where you are

Now it's all so clear and I believe that everything's been working out for me
And i feel you now
I'm not alone
I'll always know, I'll always know where you are


It's a neverending world out there
And you and i made it this far
but believe me there's things about me you don't know

And who do I turn to?
Where do I run?
Who do I seek, cuz baby it's a cry for help.


And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost and thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame

But you can hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em' your name

And scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

We grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em' your name
I won't tell em' your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down,
And I won't tell em your name


But through all the regrets and resentment i'm still here. I think once i get rid of three things that continuousely over rule my heart it will all be gone for good. But those three things - resentment, longing and anger are'nt things that are going to fade over night, i know that but i do need some fucking answers. i think most importantly i need a few answers from God if he really does exist - cos to me there's no such thing as God he's let me down too many times.

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days