p.s. I Love You...

Tonight was the first night in ages that i felt a pang for Toya. It did dawn on me though that i've been allowing myself to cling onto the hope and imagine that when i wake up she will be there cos that was how it had always been. But i'm accepting that with death there are no exceptions. Gone means gone. I know that i have to stop living my life in my head, remembering old memories and dreaming impossible dreams. It will never get me anywhere...
...which leads me onto somemone else. I know that if ever he needed me i would be there no matter what no matter how far away, no matter how complicated the situation. I really want him to find someonelse but also at the same time it would take awhile to get used to knowing that there finally was no going back... See i can only see him with one other person now, and its not me...
It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what you'll do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

all the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

I love this song, it's always been kinda special to me just like the one above...
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in the fields of gold
We'll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold

I'm genuinely happy. For once i'm going out with someone and not loving someone else at the same time, i'm getting there...!!!
He just makes me feel...
But with you I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

all my love
Dory
--xxx------------